A year ago she might have cried...

One day last week Amelia had a friend over to play. It was this girl's first visit to the house even though they have known each other from school for the past couple of years. We have been hoping to get them together as we really like this kid and think that they will get along well. And they did.

When NotLydia (I refer here to any of her friends that is not Lydia as... NotLydia) arrived there was a bit of awkwardness on both their parts. They stood in the foyer area, for a while, as NotLydia surveyed her surroundings and Amelia did the same of her guest. I was just hanging back, waiting to see how things went and hoping they would require no intervention.

A large picture of Amelia as a toddler caught NotLydia's eye and off the cuff she said, "Amelia, you were a funny looking baby". Ooowwww, that was a little something and I went on High-Alert in case I needed to do damage control. In half a second Amelia replied "Well, I guess that most babies are a little funny looking, right?..." Boom. I was a little stunned and more than a little pleased at the same time. Her response was brilliant verbal Aikido. Step off line, redirect the energy and momentum so that no one gets hurt. Wow.

NotLydia and Amelia went on to have a lot of fun together. The obvious comfort and ease that

our conjoined friends(Amelia/Lydia) share wasn't there and I expect it may never be, but it was a good start.

stayathomebryan will remain in the background, where he belongs.

We are Noodle Folk...

and as of this weekend, Sushi Folk. Forgive me, I am getting a little ahead of myself.

Since Amelia was old enough to eat solid food, I have been feeding her noodles. Spaghetti noodles, raman noodles and especially No-Yolk brand egg noodles. To this day, I cook extra noodles and store them in a plastic container in the 'fridge. I can boil water, in our electric tea kettle, in about 3 minutes and pour it over the cold noodles. Boom. Quickest meal ever that the kid will always eat. Almost always anyways.

Last Sunday we went to see Kung Fu Panda2 in 3D. If you haven't yet, here is our endorsement. We enjoyed the flick. See the first one too, if you haven't already. Afterwards, we were bouncing around ideas of where to get dinner when Amelia announced she wanted to get sushi. Not just for us, she was going to eat her some sushi. Not the sissy-California roll sushi. Real deal sushi. Raw fish sushi... "Ok kid. Whatever you say."

We have taken her to Wasabi in Edwardsville many times and count it as one of our favorite restaurants. She always gets the same thing. Udon noodles. Go figure.

Amelia and gotoworkJulie poured over the menu, looking at pictures and reading/discussing the ingredients. Amelia decided she wanted to try the Beth roll, one of her mom's favorites, and have some udon noodles on the side. You know, just in case...

When it arrived at the table she looked over the boat and was satisfied with what she saw. Being pretty good with chopsticks, Amelia still had to grab a section of the roll, with her hand, to keep it from falling apart. No soy or wasabi for this kid, just right up to the mouth. It was pretty funny watching her face scrunch up in that "I'm not sure I'm gonna like this" expression

as she was side-biting(she recently lost her two front teeth) off a small hunk. Bravely, but with evident caution, she chewed, swallowed and announced she liked it. She appeared pleasantly relieved.

Amelia ended up eating some yellowfin tuna, salmon and 2 chunks of Beth roll. A fair number of udon noodles were slurped up whole as well.

stayathomebryan was just beginning to think he knew his kid...

Chillin' & Grillin'...

Jakey in June is a local BBQ contest organized by one Richard Schmidt and held in the next-town-over, St. Jacob. In just a couple of years it has grown to be a truly respectable event featuring some champion bbqers, live entertainment and a kids cook-off.

Amelia enjoys cooking as much(or more) than the next kid but, she avoids the grill like she avoids spiders, high places, and... well... fire. Regardless, when I asked her if she wanted to participate in the grilling competition this year, she enthusiastically said "yes".

The age group that she is in grills 1 lb of hamburger. The contest provides the meat, a small weber-type grill with smoldering charcoal and some brave judges. It is up to the contestants to provide the rest. A couple of days before, I mentioned to the kid that she needs to decide what ingredients she wants to put in her burger and get them together. She requested the spice rack and a bowl and sat with them at the coffee table to experiment. I was cooking, in the kitchen, as she would ask,"What does ground ginger taste like?" and "How about allspice?". My answer every time was "You have to try it." Then I would hear "Oh, I like that" or "much too spicy" and such. She sprinkled the desired amounts of I-have-no-idea-how-many-or-what-type-of spices into the bowl. After about half an hour she brought the bowl to me and announced she was pleased with the result. I emptied the mixture into an old spice container and gave it to her to label and put away for safe keeping.

Two days before the event, Amelia informed her mom that she would be needing a new apron. Happily, gotoworkJulie went to the fabric store on her lunch hour and bought a couple of different fabrics and some complimenting trim what-not. Immediately following dinner she began designing/cutting/sewing/embroidering and hemming. By 9:30 she was finished. By 9:33 she had decided that she wasn't happy with the results and promptly started disassembling the garment and re-sewing. By 11:59 she was finished. Again. My wife's unspoken maxim is "nothing is worth sewing that isn't worth ripping apart and sewing again." The results speak for themselves. It is truly an awesome apron.

The day before the competition, Amelia said she would like to put some chopped pickles and shredded cheese into the burger, as these are the only condiments she finds tasty on her own burgers. I agreed that this sounded good and that we would finish getting these items together before we went.

The day of the show, we bagged up all of our ingredients and a spatula and arrived right on time for the competitor's meeting. Here, Richard Schmidt, went over the rules/requirements/suggestions and judging information. The kids were each given a pound of burger meat and told to get to it.

Amelia had never "handled" ground beef before and, after having dumped all of the ingredients on top, stood and stared at the uninviting pile for a moment. Reluctantly, and ever so gingerly, she began to knead the pile. It is amazing how giant 1 lb of burger meat appears with little-tiny hands sunk into it to the wrists. With some encouragement from me she mixed, divided and patted out 2 somewhat irregular shaped burgers. She indicated her satisfaction with the product and we bagged them to wait for the appointed grill time.

After an hour we were led to the awaiting grills. That it was hot is an understatement. 95f, in the direct sun, 20 charcoal grills with kids and parents(desperately trying to keep their kids safe/on the right track/not overly controlling...) swarming about made for a seriously intense half hour. Amelia approached her grill with understandable hesitation. I told her she had to "do it herself" so she reached in the bag, extracted the burgers and carefully dumped them, from a safe height, onto the grill. After a minute or two of watching and seeing the girl next to her flip her burgers, prematurely, she started telling me she wanted to do the same. This was the only place, so far, that I intervened. Patience my dear, Patience. By the time I offered my approval, her burgers had a perfect golden-brown crust while most other kids were knocking what little doneness they had off their patties, every couple of minutes. You should have seen my kid overcoming common sense to turn those things as the flame were leaping out of that grill. I admit, I was more than a little frightened but she accomplished it without tearing them up or flipping them off the grill. A pretty awesome effort for a first timer.

Amelia received an honorable mention ribbon and a check for $5, just like 27 of the 30 kids in the show. I don't think I could be prouder if she won Memphis in May...

stayathomebryan has found Barfy's grillmaster-in-training

There she goes to save the day...

Yes siree. Amelia rode her bike, without training wheels, for the first time tonight. I am literally beside myself.

I want to say thanks to Tim Marti, who told me about a new(relatively) method to help kids learn to ride a bike. Worked like a charm.

About a week ago, I took the training wheels off of Amelia's bike. I also removed the pedals. Anyone who knows our risk-averse kid, knows that the training wheels coming off is a huge deal. She saw the stripped-down bike in the garage and asked me why I took off the pedals. I told her she had to kick around on the bike for a total of 3 hours, before I would put them back on.

She started out slowly, just barely pushing herself along. Over the next several days, she would spend 10 or 20 minutes at a time, kicking her way around the driveway and on the walkway to the front door. Each time she seemed to be a little more stable and moved a little faster.

Today she was zipping around and asked if it was enough time for me to put the pedals back on. I said it was close enough and had them on in a couple of minutes. She was really nervous when she picked up the bike and climbed on. I told her to just put her feet down, if she needed to, like she had been doing for the last week. She started out kicking her way around the driveway, picked up her feet and put them on the pedals, and stated riding. Just like that.

Riding a bike, takes a lot of little skills and a little bit of confidence to come together at the same time. An admittedly tall order for a Barfield. My kid pulled it off in grand fashion. I could not be more proud.

stayathomebryan is pleased. very pleased.

I'm in way too deep...

This is how I found out.

Amelia likes Miley Cyrus, and Selena Gomez, and Miranda Cosgrove, and on and on and on. I usually let her watch a show or two when she gets home from school, before homework and "whatever" activity that particular afternoon. This particular afternoon it was "Hannah Montana - The Movie". It was also dance class night but, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I have to admit I like the TV the kid watches now, compared to just a few years ago. Hannah, Wizards of Waverly Place and iCarly are much more watchable, for adults, than Dora, The Wiggles and Imagination Movers. Some of the jokes are clearly written for grown-ups and the rest is... well, it's ok. My complaint? There are a finite number of shows and episodes, so it doesn't take long to know them. Word for word, beginning to end.

This particular afternoon, Amelia watched some of "Hannah Montana - The Movie", then turned it off to do homework and get a bath before dance class at 5:30. As is typical, we were rushing to get her ready and out the door to class. I let her watch some more of the movie as I did her hair(it helps keep her still long enough for me to ponytail...easy peasy) and somehow we left it on when we took off for the dance studio. Parents are not allowed to stay and watch the class so, I usually go home to cook dinner. I have to pick her up again at 7:00. That means I have just enough time to get home, get it made, then get back to pick her up.

I walked into the house and right into the kitchen. I was deep into making dinner, the tv was providing background noise, when the "ho-down" scene came on. You remember the one, right? It's when Miley is pulled up on stage, to do a number with the band, and gets everyone dancing to that catchy song, "doin' the ho-down, doin' the ho-down...". You don't remember it?... Oh. Well, it is actually a pretty good song. I know, but it is... I guess.

Unconsciously(I swear), I rocked out to the song, as I was cooking and a couple of minutes later found myself reciting dialog. Out loud. In my kitchen. By myself. Hannah Montana dialog. I had been listening to Hannah Montana on the tv, rockin' & recitin', for almost 45 minutes. No kid in the house. The realization stopped me in my tracks. I mixed a drink, walked into the living room and switched the tv to Sirius XMU, turned the stereo up to mind-numbing, sat on the couch, and had myself a little cry. Having so completely lost my dignity, I deserved it.

stayathomebryan is much better now. Really.

The last three weeks have been...

a flippin' nightmare. It has been rainy, thunderstormy, tornadoee etc... Like I'm telling you anything. You've been through it too. Our family just gets our own special twist, a bonus if you will, when the weather goes south.

Gator has been our dog for almost 11 years. He is cute, loving, affectionate, loyal and defective. I have to admit, he was something of a substitute child for us, before Amelia came along. We treated him like a furry little person and reveled in his company. Alas, all good things come to an end. He has never fully accepted being busted back to dog status, even though it has been over 7 years. I don't feel bad about it. I really can't stand my dog.

Gator has a real problem with weather. The first second that he realizes it is raining, is going to rain, might rain or anyone mentions rain, he starts running around the house crying and whining like someone pissed in his kibbles. Heaven forbid there is lightning and thunder. At the first sign, his whining becomes shrieks and he tears about looking for any mini-blinds that have been carelessly left within his reach. In seconds, he will proceed to shred them until they are in a bloody heap on the floor. His blood. Bites 'em 'til his mouth bleeds. He's an idiot.

During nice weather, at night, he sits on the floor staring at the front window. When a car passes and their headlights reflect off the glass, he starts barking and running through the house. He thinks it's lightning. This occurs about 40 times a night. Even with the blinds closed. A camera flash has the same effect. He is the dumbest dog I've ever met.

"Oh, you are so mean stayathomebryan. Gator is such a sweet dog. You don't deserve such a fine animal" says you. Well maybe. I feel compelled to point out he was given to us. For free. We probably should have asked for references, or a warranty, or the name of the town these generous people were moving to, at the very least.

We have tried all the reasonable options to help him through his time of distress. We've held and petted him while softly chanting positive affirmations. We've crated him with his favorite toys. Comforting him is actually more of a struggle as he fights to run about screaming doggy screams. We've sedated him with prescription tranquilizers and Benedril. It worked early on. Now he just takes it as a sign that storms are on the way and starts stressing and panting and pacing.

The icing on the cake is when he ends up in the garage during his antics. Many of these storms roll in at precisely 3 am. He can go from dead asleep to high alert the second a single raindrop hits a window pane. I no longer hesitate. I get up and open the door to the garage and out he runs. I have a dog bed out there expressly for these occasions. Once securely out of the house, he barks, cries, screams and crashes about to his heart's content. And he poops. Yep, that's the icing. By morning, he has run through that icing and is wearing it up to his elbows. He has trampled it all across the floor and painted it on the garage door with his little doggy paws. And I get the privilege of scrubbing him up after making breakfasts and lunches for my girls and before they leave for work/school so he won't track his special icing through the house. Good times. Had a lot of good times lately...

Remind me to tell you about the night the smoke alarm chirped. I hate my dog. There's no shame in that.

stayathomebryan gets all the news he needs from the weather report

Sweet the sin, bitter the taste...

It happened in the kitchen.

At least, that's where I got caught...

As a sahd, food or rather preparation of food is one of my primary responsibilities. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, everyday, is what I do. I do not take this responsibility lightly.

Over the last several years, I have discovered and some may argue perfected(?) a few dishes that are staples of our families diet. After preparing the same dish a few hundred times, I get to work out how to make it just right. There are even several items that are on gotoworkJulie's list of favorites. These are my "go to" recipes when I think she needs cheering up, has been particularly busy at work, or I want to get something. For myself. Let's just say they are considered... special.

A couple of weeks ago, I was planning on attending a "pot luck" after an all day seminar. It would be sans family, as Julie had her own education to attend that day. I planned on making/taking potato salad. The recipe I discovered, a few years past, is always well received. As the date of the dinner was approaching, I bought all of my ingredients but I felt that maybe I should bring something else too. This is a group of people that, to be frank, I really like and want to endear myself to.

While shopping, I came upon avocados. Perfectly ripe. On sale. 98 cents apiece. Beckoning. I bought 5. I knew that I would have to prepare the dish under cover. Easy enough, I am home alone for hours most days. I actually felt sneaky as I chopped the garlic, onions, cilantro, jalapeno and mixed them together with the rest. Here I was, preparing something special, not for my family. I put the bowl in the fridge downstairs. Behind the 2 stacked Tupperware containers of potato salad. Just in case.

I came home after the seminar and pot luck and was emptying out the small cooler of my leftovers. GotoworkJulie was in the kitchen, telling me about her continuing education when she noticed me trying to surreptitiously slip the bowl from the cooler to the fridge. She stopped mid-sentence. "Did you make guacamole for the pot luck? I thought you were bringing potato salad." Lamely, I replied "Well... I just thought it would be nice..."

Uncomfortable silence.

Julie, with a hint of mistiness and a hushed tone, said "that's... that's guacadultery."

There it is. It's out there now, isn't it?

stayathomebryan will be receiving 4 to 6 hours of sensitivity training. Again.