Is my first post really going to be such crap?...

Yep, sure is. I actually have a post or 2 already written(but not-quite-ready for prime time) that I will have up soon. Until then, this is what you get. And as you know, you get what you get and you don't get upset!

I will take the time to lay out one of the main rules of my site: Do not challenge me on, what will be, obvious contradictions between/within my posts. Being a stay at home dad DICTATES a life full of dualities that would confound a conventional, civilian parent. So, if I hear from you, something such as "Well, you dip-wad, you wrote this before, as an absolute, and now you are saying that, and these statements do not, in anyone's universe align themselves...I feel the need to point out and correct your considerable error...", I will come to your home and punch your mustache off. You have been forewarned.

I am also the king of the comma. I can and will make up as many run-on sentences as my baby-soft fingers can type. I will do this until my 7th grade english teacher shows up at my house and punches my mustache off...

stayathomebryan could diagram any one of these sentences, but chooses not to