"Try not to be a *ick..."

GotoworkJulie actually used a word that refers to a certain portion of the male anatomy and sounds a lot like dick. "Why would she say such a thing to you?" I seem to hear you say. Well, pull up a stool and listen to my story

A couple of weeks ago, an old high-school friend of her's was in town for their viente anos class reunion. See how gracious stayathomebryan is, not to reveal how long his precious treasure has been out of high school, by using indecipherable code? Definitely a non-*ickish move.

She tells me that we are going to our friend's(Tammy and Duff) house where her aforementioned friend, and her partner, will be spending the afternoon. "Partner?" says I. "Yes, they are gay. Try not to be a *ick". Well, that's not fair. Not that she shouldn't assume that I could/would/might have the propensity to be a *ick because I can/will/might be or am or something... whatever! It is that she actually set that expectation knowing full well that I have limited self control.

It is kind of like when I was in high school, my parents would say things like "Don't skip school" and "Stop touching yourself". Witness my lack of university education and total inability to see anything without eyeglasses as to the efficacy of their heartfelt instructions. "Don't be a *ick" will likely work just as well. As anyone who has met me knows, I yam what I yam. I take this opportunity to apologize.

I am fine with gay people(hey, some of my best friends are... ummm, ok, I don't have any gay friends but, I live in BFE Illinois for Pete's sake) and gotoworkJulie knows this. She also hasn't seen this friend in years and doesn't want my "equal opportunity" offensive nature to ruin her chance to do some catching up. I say to myself, several times, on the way over "I will not be a *ick, I will not be a*ick". I even remember believing myself for a second.

We arrived at our friend's house and unexpectedly Julie's visiting friend answers the door. "Hey, I thought you were Parker(Tammy and Duff's 13 year old son) for a minute..." was the first thing out of my mouth. Doh! Admonitions and affirmations out the window, in less than a second. In my defense, she does look a little like Parker. That, of course, is neither her nor there. I am a *ick and I proved at my first chance.

I've got to say that the visiting friend and her partner were great and didn't seem to be bothered by my over-developed uncouthness. Thank goodness, as I am sure that I was barely better than my first display, the rest of the evening. They even invited us, sincerely it seemed, to come to Seattle, let us stay with them and show us around. I sincerely hope we do, someday.

As a total aside, we were able to use this meeting to introduce Amelia to what being gay is. She has seen enough t.v. and movies where there are gay characters and has wondered aloud about them. To this point, we have avoided the subject, waiting for the proper time and place. Driving home, we simply brought up how her "new friends"(she really liked them) were a couple like we are, and when two men or two women are a couple, it is called being "gay". She was neither shocked or upset by the notion. We didn't think she would be and were grateful for this perfect opportunity.

stayathomebryan vows to try to be less of who he is...

The summer of my kid's content...

This was Amelia's first week back in school, after what has been the best summer break yet, imho. If I had to label it, it would be "The summer of Lydia and Amelia's Grand Adventure, kindly do not interupt..." or some such.

Lydia and family went on the required American Judeo-Christian Hajj(Disneyworld) as soon as school let out and Amelia began to display withdrawal symptoms almost immediately, prompting the coining of the phrase 'friend-bilical cord'. It seemed strange in that they spend relatively little time together during the school year and we had yet to make any real concrete plans beyond their hanging together at Korte rec center's playground/summer camp. Nevertheless, my kid started to get a little wiggy before their family touched down in Orlando and was out-of-sorts for the entire week they were gone. The cord was definitely stretched and the munchkin didn't like it. Not one bit.

When my child's other half returned and they were attending Korte's summer camp together, we settled into the routine of me picking up, and keeping for the day, both girls every other day with Lydia's mom playing the alternate. It started out as a day-by-day then week-by-week thing and ended up going all summer long. To say that the kid flourished wouldn't be generous enough. It was really the first time that she was mature and independent enough for this to go on and on and on like it did. They couldn't get enough of each other.

It is simply fantastic to me to see the two young girls trust and care for each other with no expectations or agenda. I don't know of any adult relationship that is as simple and pure. I will forever remember watching them sitting on the hammock, with their arms around each other, for what seemed an eternity, just talking. I have no idea what they had to say but I could tell from their relaxed expressions that it was no one's business but their own. It was one of those rare times in my life that I experienced a genuine blessing just by witnessing the blessing of others.

We went the entire summer like that. Our house, their house, day in, day out. Amelia attended a summer enrichment camp at Triad High School for a week and they both went to a Science Summer camp, put on by the St. Louis Science center, but their days with just the two of them are going to have the most profound and prolonged effect. It was this time together that spawned the second patented phrase: conjoined friends.

I am pleased(since it is, ultimately, all about me) that my child has and is such a good friend. I am as equally pleased that it is Lydia.

stayathomebryan is glad that school is back in session but, only just so...

She blinded me with science...

When we were eating dinner tonight I was surfing through the channels for something suitable. I found a NatGeo show about space and clicked on it. On the screen was a close-up photo of Jupiter.

The narrator "...and Jupiter's most recognizable feature is the big red spot..."

Immediately Amelia says "It's 3 times the size of Earth."

Stayathomebryan - "What? You mean Jupiter?"

Amelia - "No. The big red spot."

Narrator - "...which is 3 times the size of Earth..."

Mildly befuddled silence by the parents accompanied by a little shrug & raised eyebrows from the kid.

GotoworkJulie - "Where did you learn that?"

Amelia - "Science camp."

sometimes, stayathomebryan feels a might-bit befuddled

A year ago she might have cried...

One day last week Amelia had a friend over to play. It was this girl's first visit to the house even though they have known each other from school for the past couple of years. We have been hoping to get them together as we really like this kid and think that they will get along well. And they did.

When NotLydia (I refer here to any of her friends that is not Lydia as... NotLydia) arrived there was a bit of awkwardness on both their parts. They stood in the foyer area, for a while, as NotLydia surveyed her surroundings and Amelia did the same of her guest. I was just hanging back, waiting to see how things went and hoping they would require no intervention.

A large picture of Amelia as a toddler caught NotLydia's eye and off the cuff she said, "Amelia, you were a funny looking baby". Ooowwww, that was a little something and I went on High-Alert in case I needed to do damage control. In half a second Amelia replied "Well, I guess that most babies are a little funny looking, right?..." Boom. I was a little stunned and more than a little pleased at the same time. Her response was brilliant verbal Aikido. Step off line, redirect the energy and momentum so that no one gets hurt. Wow.

NotLydia and Amelia went on to have a lot of fun together. The obvious comfort and ease that

our conjoined friends(Amelia/Lydia) share wasn't there and I expect it may never be, but it was a good start.

stayathomebryan will remain in the background, where he belongs.

We are Noodle Folk...

and as of this weekend, Sushi Folk. Forgive me, I am getting a little ahead of myself.

Since Amelia was old enough to eat solid food, I have been feeding her noodles. Spaghetti noodles, raman noodles and especially No-Yolk brand egg noodles. To this day, I cook extra noodles and store them in a plastic container in the 'fridge. I can boil water, in our electric tea kettle, in about 3 minutes and pour it over the cold noodles. Boom. Quickest meal ever that the kid will always eat. Almost always anyways.

Last Sunday we went to see Kung Fu Panda2 in 3D. If you haven't yet, here is our endorsement. We enjoyed the flick. See the first one too, if you haven't already. Afterwards, we were bouncing around ideas of where to get dinner when Amelia announced she wanted to get sushi. Not just for us, she was going to eat her some sushi. Not the sissy-California roll sushi. Real deal sushi. Raw fish sushi... "Ok kid. Whatever you say."

We have taken her to Wasabi in Edwardsville many times and count it as one of our favorite restaurants. She always gets the same thing. Udon noodles. Go figure.

Amelia and gotoworkJulie poured over the menu, looking at pictures and reading/discussing the ingredients. Amelia decided she wanted to try the Beth roll, one of her mom's favorites, and have some udon noodles on the side. You know, just in case...

When it arrived at the table she looked over the boat and was satisfied with what she saw. Being pretty good with chopsticks, Amelia still had to grab a section of the roll, with her hand, to keep it from falling apart. No soy or wasabi for this kid, just right up to the mouth. It was pretty funny watching her face scrunch up in that "I'm not sure I'm gonna like this" expression

as she was side-biting(she recently lost her two front teeth) off a small hunk. Bravely, but with evident caution, she chewed, swallowed and announced she liked it. She appeared pleasantly relieved.

Amelia ended up eating some yellowfin tuna, salmon and 2 chunks of Beth roll. A fair number of udon noodles were slurped up whole as well.

stayathomebryan was just beginning to think he knew his kid...

Chillin' & Grillin'...

Jakey in June is a local BBQ contest organized by one Richard Schmidt and held in the next-town-over, St. Jacob. In just a couple of years it has grown to be a truly respectable event featuring some champion bbqers, live entertainment and a kids cook-off.

Amelia enjoys cooking as much(or more) than the next kid but, she avoids the grill like she avoids spiders, high places, and... well... fire. Regardless, when I asked her if she wanted to participate in the grilling competition this year, she enthusiastically said "yes".

The age group that she is in grills 1 lb of hamburger. The contest provides the meat, a small weber-type grill with smoldering charcoal and some brave judges. It is up to the contestants to provide the rest. A couple of days before, I mentioned to the kid that she needs to decide what ingredients she wants to put in her burger and get them together. She requested the spice rack and a bowl and sat with them at the coffee table to experiment. I was cooking, in the kitchen, as she would ask,"What does ground ginger taste like?" and "How about allspice?". My answer every time was "You have to try it." Then I would hear "Oh, I like that" or "much too spicy" and such. She sprinkled the desired amounts of I-have-no-idea-how-many-or-what-type-of spices into the bowl. After about half an hour she brought the bowl to me and announced she was pleased with the result. I emptied the mixture into an old spice container and gave it to her to label and put away for safe keeping.

Two days before the event, Amelia informed her mom that she would be needing a new apron. Happily, gotoworkJulie went to the fabric store on her lunch hour and bought a couple of different fabrics and some complimenting trim what-not. Immediately following dinner she began designing/cutting/sewing/embroidering and hemming. By 9:30 she was finished. By 9:33 she had decided that she wasn't happy with the results and promptly started disassembling the garment and re-sewing. By 11:59 she was finished. Again. My wife's unspoken maxim is "nothing is worth sewing that isn't worth ripping apart and sewing again." The results speak for themselves. It is truly an awesome apron.

The day before the competition, Amelia said she would like to put some chopped pickles and shredded cheese into the burger, as these are the only condiments she finds tasty on her own burgers. I agreed that this sounded good and that we would finish getting these items together before we went.

The day of the show, we bagged up all of our ingredients and a spatula and arrived right on time for the competitor's meeting. Here, Richard Schmidt, went over the rules/requirements/suggestions and judging information. The kids were each given a pound of burger meat and told to get to it.

Amelia had never "handled" ground beef before and, after having dumped all of the ingredients on top, stood and stared at the uninviting pile for a moment. Reluctantly, and ever so gingerly, she began to knead the pile. It is amazing how giant 1 lb of burger meat appears with little-tiny hands sunk into it to the wrists. With some encouragement from me she mixed, divided and patted out 2 somewhat irregular shaped burgers. She indicated her satisfaction with the product and we bagged them to wait for the appointed grill time.

After an hour we were led to the awaiting grills. That it was hot is an understatement. 95f, in the direct sun, 20 charcoal grills with kids and parents(desperately trying to keep their kids safe/on the right track/not overly controlling...) swarming about made for a seriously intense half hour. Amelia approached her grill with understandable hesitation. I told her she had to "do it herself" so she reached in the bag, extracted the burgers and carefully dumped them, from a safe height, onto the grill. After a minute or two of watching and seeing the girl next to her flip her burgers, prematurely, she started telling me she wanted to do the same. This was the only place, so far, that I intervened. Patience my dear, Patience. By the time I offered my approval, her burgers had a perfect golden-brown crust while most other kids were knocking what little doneness they had off their patties, every couple of minutes. You should have seen my kid overcoming common sense to turn those things as the flame were leaping out of that grill. I admit, I was more than a little frightened but she accomplished it without tearing them up or flipping them off the grill. A pretty awesome effort for a first timer.

Amelia received an honorable mention ribbon and a check for $5, just like 27 of the 30 kids in the show. I don't think I could be prouder if she won Memphis in May...

stayathomebryan has found Barfy's grillmaster-in-training

Like peas and carrots...

I realized early on, how little influence I will have, over my kid's friendships. In an effort to socialize my very shy toddler(and to keep myself from going crazy at home), I started a playgroup with a few like-minded moms and their kids. The children were the same age as Amelia and the moms had similar family situations and parenting styles as us, and we all lived close enough to one another that it was easy to get together almost weekly.

We planned outings to parks, the Y, children's museum and each others houses. We got to know each other well and trusted one another. Even though our kids are in different schools and all, we still invite the girls to birthday parties and it is great to catch up once in a while. I would have to say that we probably got those kids together at least a couple of hundred times over the course of 3+ years...

Things began to loosen up when some of us put our kids in pre-school. We all said we would still get the kids together regularly but, it really didn't work out that way. I fully expected Amelia to ask to see her friends from playgroup as I was sure she would start missing them. I mean Hey, we had been hanging with these people for basically her whole life...

Two weeks into pre-school, Amelia informs us that she has a best friend and her name is Lydia. She had never said anything of the sort and never talked a lot about her playgroup friends when she was away from them. All of the sudden she has this best friend. I met her friend's mom at pick-up and she seemed nice. Amelia came home from school talking about her friend almost daily. We were floored. Do everything you can to provide friends for your kid and the first chance she gets she goes out and makes her own.

They have very similar temperaments, likes, dislikes and such. They have always been sweet and caring toward one another. I can't begin to count the number of little letters, notes and artsy projects that they have made each other as gifts over the years. When I get fed up with the weather here and threaten to move us someplace warmer, Amelia immediately says "I can't leave Lydia!".

Over the last 4 years, we have gotten to know Lydia's parents really well and have done what we can to get the girls together as much as possible. They live close by but are in a different school system so they go to different schools. This really hasn't diminished how fond of each other the kids are. To me, it is totally awesome to know that my kid has made a lasting friend. It is also humbling to me that I had no hand in it, what so ever...

stayathomebryan is ineffectual.

My kid is smarter than me...

When my daughter had just turned 3, I took her to the pediatrician's office for her annual well-child visit. In the waiting area is a fish tank that, at the time, had 2 sickly gold fish, a blue gravel bottom, a plastic seaweed looking plant and 1 pinkish/purplish rock. Amelia was looking in the tank so I knelt down beside her. I noticed she was staring at the rock. Wondering why, I asked her "What color is that rock?". As she continued to stare at it, I began a little internal dialog. 'Is she gong to say purple? Is she going to say pink? Is she going to say purple? Is she going to say pink?'...

About the time I thought she wasn't going to answer, she said "It's magenta". I thought 'Oh... so that's magenta...'

stayathomebryan needs a color wheel