In Memoriam...

GotoworkJulie's grandmother, Dorothy Neudecker, passed away last night. She was the matriarch of this fine family in every sense of the word and is the first person that Amelia has really known to have died.

For the first few years after we moved here, Dorothy would watch Amelia as I would mow her lawn. They would delight in each others company and I was always inspired by her vitality.

In the fall of our third year here, Dorothy had me pick the grapes from the vines in her yard and instructed me in the making of wine. A favorite picture of mine is of Amelia, in the basement, up to her elbows in grapes as she helped me mash them before fermentation. Drinking a glass or two, with Dorothy, every time I came to help her out in some way became a little tradition that I relished.

Julie and Amelia were at her aunt's house last night when the news came in. It was not at all unexpected as Dorothy has been in a nursing home and under hospice care. Her health was quickly fading. Julie called me and told me that her grandmother had passed, that she was ok but, the kid was a little sad. She related this story to me when they got home later in the night:

As they were driving home they were talking about 'Greatgrandma' and Amelia said "I think when Greatgrandma died she turned into a star" as she stared out the window. There was a short pause then finished with "I think I see her right there..." Julie said she lost it and started blubbering. I was fixing them a little food when they came in and Julie told this to me. At that point, I blubbered a little too.

Dorothy, you will be missed...

"Try not to be a *ick..."

GotoworkJulie actually used a word that refers to a certain portion of the male anatomy and sounds a lot like dick. "Why would she say such a thing to you?" I seem to hear you say. Well, pull up a stool and listen to my story

A couple of weeks ago, an old high-school friend of her's was in town for their viente anos class reunion. See how gracious stayathomebryan is, not to reveal how long his precious treasure has been out of high school, by using indecipherable code? Definitely a non-*ickish move.

She tells me that we are going to our friend's(Tammy and Duff) house where her aforementioned friend, and her partner, will be spending the afternoon. "Partner?" says I. "Yes, they are gay. Try not to be a *ick". Well, that's not fair. Not that she shouldn't assume that I could/would/might have the propensity to be a *ick because I can/will/might be or am or something... whatever! It is that she actually set that expectation knowing full well that I have limited self control.

It is kind of like when I was in high school, my parents would say things like "Don't skip school" and "Stop touching yourself". Witness my lack of university education and total inability to see anything without eyeglasses as to the efficacy of their heartfelt instructions. "Don't be a *ick" will likely work just as well. As anyone who has met me knows, I yam what I yam. I take this opportunity to apologize.

I am fine with gay people(hey, some of my best friends are... ummm, ok, I don't have any gay friends but, I live in BFE Illinois for Pete's sake) and gotoworkJulie knows this. She also hasn't seen this friend in years and doesn't want my "equal opportunity" offensive nature to ruin her chance to do some catching up. I say to myself, several times, on the way over "I will not be a *ick, I will not be a*ick". I even remember believing myself for a second.

We arrived at our friend's house and unexpectedly Julie's visiting friend answers the door. "Hey, I thought you were Parker(Tammy and Duff's 13 year old son) for a minute..." was the first thing out of my mouth. Doh! Admonitions and affirmations out the window, in less than a second. In my defense, she does look a little like Parker. That, of course, is neither her nor there. I am a *ick and I proved at my first chance.

I've got to say that the visiting friend and her partner were great and didn't seem to be bothered by my over-developed uncouthness. Thank goodness, as I am sure that I was barely better than my first display, the rest of the evening. They even invited us, sincerely it seemed, to come to Seattle, let us stay with them and show us around. I sincerely hope we do, someday.

As a total aside, we were able to use this meeting to introduce Amelia to what being gay is. She has seen enough t.v. and movies where there are gay characters and has wondered aloud about them. To this point, we have avoided the subject, waiting for the proper time and place. Driving home, we simply brought up how her "new friends"(she really liked them) were a couple like we are, and when two men or two women are a couple, it is called being "gay". She was neither shocked or upset by the notion. We didn't think she would be and were grateful for this perfect opportunity.

stayathomebryan vows to try to be less of who he is...